The news in brief:
Novelty collectable company makes collectable novelty. Daily Mail outraged
Musician gets a bit hurt playing football
Screaming girls threaten death over slightly hurt musician
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Russia still suggesting peaceful resolution might be nice
Economy kinda recovering maybe
Princess Diana 'still dead'
The US has never any issues with the French. Ever
Twerking is unattractive
Celebrity mother narrowly misses schoolbus
Man has baby
Brits don't cuddle enough
Actress goes grocery shopping
Newspaper disapproves of consenting adults consenting
Satirical news pundit has to look up word 'pillion'
Pop harlot finds a way to be even more naked
Reading the news so you don't have to....
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