The news in brief 2nd and 3rd September 2013

The news in brief:
 
Religion's bodycount continues to mount

Really old sick man still alive

Less old man dies

Another even less old man dies

Footballers swap teams

Newspaper takes advantage of grieving mother to sell papers

Schools might be getting a bit crowded

Teachers take usual 'they get six weeks holiday' flack

Building uses ancient Greek death ray on parked car

Robodolphin

Another celebrity in court for interfering with the kids

Strange noises from the sky

Woman wears short skirt

Ageing man gets a little chubby

Celebrity shows running out of celebrities

Potty training is NOT a teacher's job!

Big business buys another business

Reading the news so you don't have to...