The news in brief 9th May 2015

The news in brief:

The Conservative Party have been in power for a little over 24 hours now and even though they have only just started putting a cabinet together, according to social media they have:

Rigged the election

Planned to bring back fox hunting

Planned to read your emails

Planned to ruin the economy

Sacrificed a goat to their dark master

Constructed a Death Star

Shot JR

Killed Fred Weasley

Eaten a whole bunch of babies

Hailed Hydra

Destroyed Pompeii

Cloned Hitler

Created a new, deadlier race of Daleks

Pushed the close door button just as someone tried to get in the lift

Put Baby in the corner

Told a five-year old about Santa Claus

Rubbed a cat’s fur THE WRONG WAY!

Talked through a movie  

Constructed a second, more powerful Death Star

And finally: kicked a puppy

Reading the news so you don’t have to…