As we try not to over-react to old family names on street
signs and Freudian slips on the BBC, let’s cast our minds back to the 14th
May 2014. It was a different time – Accrington still hadn’t rejoined the United Kingdom
after its abortive attempt at independence, and the cuttlefish was still the
official currency.
The news in brief:
Film not very good
Nerds are ever satisfied
Man doesn’t learn from all the ‘don’t be a cunt on the Internet’ stories
News outlet engages in a bit of cyberbullying
Blurry shape in the sky probably not aliens (but there sure are a lot of these stories at the minute)
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Not all human beings are despicable thunderturds (rest in peace Stephen)
Woman happy to ruin the film for everyone else
Optimus Prime is looking pretty buff
News website confuses product placement for news…
Economy a bit less shit
Newspaper forgets to use the word ‘allegedly’ in its headlines again
Nudes in brief: Ellie Goulding
Study states the obvious: criminals do illegal stuff
MP suggests ghoulish solution to practical problem
Political correctness gone mad
Remember: all men are monsters and all women are objects of pity
‘Ghost-like vision’ probably not a ghost
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Clowns are terrifying monsters
Birds kinda look alike, maybe
People will complain about anything
Diana Watch 2014: her butler is in the news again. She’s dead.
Reading the news so you don’t have to…
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