The news in brief:
Public service announcement: daring each other to chug
paracetemol is really, really fucking stupid
Woman does the job we pay her for
Britain
enjoys a bit of pomp and ceremony
Internet breaths a sigh of relied as PM doesn’t declare Great
Britain
the first Galactic Empire (Still no word on that wiping out the Jedi thing
though…)
‘Soul-sucking dementor wasps’ need to fire their PR guy
Breaking news: app not to blame for your irresponsibility
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Turns out ‘a magical sky-wizard did it’ isn’t a science
Study states the obvious: vegetables are good for you
Bus breaks shit record
Religions bodycount continues to mount
FIFA execs in a bit of bother
Apparently gross-misconduct isn’t a sackable offence
Minor administration error inexplicably newsworthy
Ironic product placement is not news
Pizza fixes everything
Killer robots will rule the world
Apparently all men are rapists and are just waiting for the
opportunity to strike
Attention-seeking hyper-bitch can dish it out but she can’t
take it…
Science is fucking awesome: herpes will save us all!
Nudes in brief: Miley Cyrus (again)
And finally: salmon cannons are apparently a thing now
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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