The news in brief:
More migrants are lost to the sea, but apparently that’s not
newsworthy…
The internet is home to many bigoted pricks
Self-fulfilling prophecy surprises no-one
You know, you can be right without being a twat about it
Election fever!
Celebrity rabble-rouser employs some doublethink
Shaming an unwell child is apparently news now
Turns out drink driving isn’t actually illegal
Pro tip: don’t fucking drink and drive
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Economy still pretty shit
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Mad suggestion, but maybe it’s not politically motivated at
all and the kid’s just named after her grandparent…
Breaking news: compulsory form filled out correctly
Maybe the council wouldn’t have to paint really short
double-yellow lines if people didn’t park like wankers
Mystery sounds probably not aliens
Study states the obvious: jogging is good for you
Stop the press: clothes retailer sells clothing
Remember: you can’t say p****, but you can say n*****
Nudes in brief: Miley Cyrus
And finally: Ryan Gosling eats his cereal at last…
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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