The news in brief 15th May 2015

We always end the week with a look at the celebrity bullshit that somehow passes for news. The sharp-eyed amongst you will notice that it’s not Sunday today, but that’s because The news in brief is taking a well-deserved break for a few days. Basically, we’ll be back on Tuesday the 26^th May 2015, and until then, you’ll have to read your own goddamned news.

The news in brief 15^th May 2015:

Yeah, we know it’s the 16^th today, but we totally dropped the ball last night.  

Family spends time together

Woman updates social media

Woman wears nice clothes on plane

Woman wears dress

Cleavage is not news

Perving over a minor is somehow news

Breaking news: couple spends time together

Woman conforms to media’s narrow definition of beauty

Stop the press: wind ruffles woman’s clothes

Telephoto lens strikes again

Paparazzi intrudes on family day out

Celebrity woman pops to the shops

Woman has legs

Look, it’s really not okay to body shame guys either

Grown woman insults vulnerable child

Actress dresses appropriately for the weather

Dad caught spending time with child

Actress has the sheer audacity to go outside without wearing make-up

Outrage: woman wears comfortable clothes

Nudes in brief: Paris Hilton

And finally: Actress doesn’t look like character she plays 24/7

Reading what could generously be referred to as ‘news’ so you don’t have to…