The news in brief:
Normally we do a Throwback Thursday on, well, Thursday, because it gives us the night off to watch Criminal Minds, drink tea and play scrabble – such is the rock and roll lifestyle here at The news in brief. However, before we get down to that, we need to share the greatest and best news story in the world ever: J K Rowling, author of The Casual Vacancy, as well as some other less successful Young Adult fantasy works, has dropped the mic at the feet of the Westborough Baptist Church in what is sure to be the greatest rap battle of all time.
And now, on with that Throwback thing:
The news in brief 28th May 2014:
Cynicism increases chances of dementia - The news in brief team somewhat concerned
Psychic Vampires are apparently a thing now
You can fix anything with lasers
Arsehole law continues to treat human beings like shit
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Study states the obvious: parents should set a good example to their kids
Man's inhumanity to man continues apace
Newsflash: cigarettes are bad for you
UK still a nation of fatties
Watching too much pornography makes men think less good
People stop watching shit TV show
Nudes in brief: Scout Willis
Russia/Ukraine situation still ‘very hairy’
PM suggests stoning people to death is a ‘Very Bad Idea’
Medieval morality’s bodycount continues to mount
Thousands gather for decent human being’s funeral
Technical fault leads to incurable case of vertigo
Secret-keepers decide the public can have the gist of the truth
Lying filthy fuck-face found guilty of being a dirty lying fuck-faced bell-end
Customer services tells it like it is
North Korea ‘not as shit as you think’
Aliens probably not invading Solihull
French master the art of back-heeling
Diana Watch 2014: ‘still dead’
Reading the news so you don’t have to…
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