The news in brief 26th May 2015

The news in brief:

Republic of Ireland suggests that freedom is the right of all sentient beings – not just the straight ones

UK sucks at Eurovision

Woman is unbelievable bitch

U.S. / China relations downgraded from ‘amiable’ to ‘somewhat hairy’

Coffee will kill us all

Study states the obvious: water is good for you

Internet has opinions about woman’s life choices

PETA apparently has nothing better to do

Kids are dabbling with the occult (well, it’s better than drugs we suppose…)

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

How many ‘shit winter-wonderland’ stories do we need before people take the hint?

First world problems

Politician tells it like it is

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Sky farms will save us all!

Noise pollution will kill us all!

Crazy dictatorship shenanigans

Global economy is pretty fucked

Meanwhile, country unveils giant gold statue of its god-like leader

Remember kids – if you touch your junk, your hand will get pregnant (in the afterlife)

Atheist can be fanatical twats too

Nudes in brief: Rosie Fortescue

And finally: Taylor Swift may or may not be She-Ra

Reading the news so you don’t have to…