The news in brief 7th and 8th August 2014

The news in brief:

Insurance company are sore fucking losers

Feminists don’t think business owners, animal rescue or inventor are suitable careers for little girls   

Bombing schools and hospitals is NOT cool

Using children as human shields is also NOT cool

Media not so great at telling all sides of story

Medieval morality makes its opinions on women pretty clear

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Legislation prevents poor people from ever going on holiday

Iraq situation upgraded from ‘hairy’ to ‘pretty fucking hairy’

Ebola will kill us all!

Thank heaven we’ve all forgot about fracking

People are cunts on the Internet

Man has more money than (dress) sense

Customs officers a bit heavy handed

The news in brief plans to open first ‘88 pence’ store

Study states the obvious: videos of half-naked women gyrating should be age restricted

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

BBC Breakfast interviews the most contrary man in England

Extremist nurseries may or may not be a thing

Stop the press: Creationism isn’t science  

Man teaches family manners (and enjoys lots of pie)

Slow news day: where do you keep your condiments?

Intolerant bint forgets how to person

Economy a bit less shit

  

Nudes in brief: Alyce Crawford

And finally…  After a long year, it’s time to retire the reoccurring Diana Watch gag. The mainstream media seems to have stopped churning out glossy colour supplements about her life and the seemingly endless parade of ‘shocking’ ‘stories’ from the people who knew her best have finally dried up (for now at least) and maybe they’ll finally let the poor woman finally rest in peace.

Instead, we’re going to finish with an ‘and finally…’ every day, sharing an oblique reference to something light hearted and a bit less swear-y.   

Reading the news so you don’t have to…