The news in brief:
No riff-raff allowed!
UK
commemorates 50 years of not being a barbaric medieval state
Priest is ‘a bit of an arsehole’
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Extremists in Oxford
UKIP MEP thinks we should return to being a barbaric
medieval state
Man’s inhumanity to man apparently knows no limits
New rules not really that hard to understand – but headline
whips up a frenzy anyway
BBC Three schedulers ‘not psychic’
Internet trolls pick on dead man’s daughter
Economy not quite as shit
Both sides agree to stop killing each other for a few more
days
Loom bands will kill us all!
Nudes in brief: Bianca Gascoigne
MP dramatically oversimplifies complicated situation
Turns out that the camera does lie
Spoilers: soap opera plot set to be angsty and melodramatic
Study states the obvious: exploration is good for you kids
UN needs to recruit a mob of hardcore roughneck
Dress code may be a bit heavy-handed
Parks make you fat… wait, what?!
Pro tip: don’t ask Siri where to hide the body
And finally: 14 year old boy amazing at hide-and-seek
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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