The news in brief 3rd August 2014

The news in brief celebrity special:

Woman dresses appropriately for the weather

Stop the press: paparazzi catches man SMOKING

Pregnant woman has the audacity to dress comfortably

Nudes in brief: Millie Mackintosh

Outrage: woman caught eating hamburger

Newspaper indulges in a bit of cyberbullying

Man not instantly good at new sport

Woman wears bikini

Paparazzi intrudes on woman’s holiday

Shock: woman has hair extensions

Woman photographed and her cleavage discussed because two men were arguing over her on Twitter last week… how is this news?!

Man confused how you can be bisexual AND married

Woman wears dress

Woman has the cheek to go outside without her nails and make-up done

Man does job (but his clothes and hair and figure aren’t headline worthy, ‘cos you know, he’s a dude)

Woman conforms to media’s narrow definition of beauty

Paparazzi intrudes on romantic day out

Woman’s sex-life none of your goddamned business

Mother takes child for a walk

Newsflash: woman has legs

Woman updates social media

Man fails to live up to media’s narrow definition of beauty (and they flat out call him names…)

Diana Watch 2014: probably still dead.

Reading the news so you don’t have to…