The news in brief:
In all fairness, he was being a bit of a knob
Toy clearly not swearing
Questionable name choices
Attention-seeking-hyper-bitch is probably right, but she
doesn’t have to be a twat about it
Minor customer service failure reported as news
Customer probably expected a grovelling written apology,
someone sacked and a million dollars in compensation…
Yet another ‘ghost’ caught on CCTV
Date stamp shows 2009 mind you – has it been a slow news
day?
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Science is pretty fucking awesome
Referendum reaches climax
Either way it goes, half of Scotland is going to be pretty
fucking unbearable tomorrow
Man wins at road rage
Giant spiders will kill us all!
Using your smartwatch whilst driving is pretty fucking
stupid
Presenter’s heart clearly isn’t in it
Study states the obvious: too much coffee is bad for you
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Midwife forgets how to person
Economy a bit less shit
Nudes in brief: Isis King
Pro tip: product placement still isn’t news
Health and fucking safety
Have-a-go-hero: 1, ran-away-villain: 0
And finally: Chimpanzees are arseholes too
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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