The news in brief:
Media still obsessed with new telephone
Girl fakes a pretty epic holiday
Terrifying caterpillar will kill us all
Expensive house is really expensive
Gigantic solar storm probably won’t kill us all
Baking show still inexplicably popular
Loch Ness Monster migrates to England ahead of referendum
Study suggests o-zone layer is feeling a bit better
Businesses shamelessly try to cash in on the deaths of
thousands of innocent people
Supermarket hires sniper
People who refuse to try something comment on that something
like the assholes they are
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Royal Bank of Scotland
starts eyeing up a new pad in London
Apparently Google is a fucking awesome place to work
Inquest states the obvious
Marriage vows apparently don’t include ‘not going to Mars
forever…’
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Turns out mocking people with self-esteem issues might be a
Very Bad Idea
Women wear hats!
Research suggests that lesbians have better sex than
straight women
Crazy dictator backs Scottish Independence
At £4.00 a pop you can keep you fucking baked beans
Nudes in brief: Jasmin Wallia
Today’s big news is the Oscar Pistorious verdict and there’s
nothing funny about that
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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