The news in brief:
Happy birthday Harry Potter!
Theatre probably not haunted
Ebola not as contagious as you think
Stop the press: people using limited space effectively
Sunbather does look a bit like Katy Perry
Terrible films get sequels
News website still oversaturated with soccerball stories
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Woman forgets how to person
Man aged 111 passes away – newspaper could have used a
different picture
Priest probably a bit mental
LEGO will kill us all
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
General consensus agrees that shelling civilians is a Very
Bad Thing
Couple were clearly destined to be together
Woman really likes her job
Darwin
award – oxygen is an accelerant
Crocodile just wanted to freshen up
Continental drift not news to anyone with GCSE in science
Nudes in brief: everyone seems to be dressed today. Does Miley
Cyrus sideboob count?
Diana Watch 2014: still dead
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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