Thursdays
are historically a difficult day for The news in brief. It’s nearly
Friday and I guess, just like everyone else, the journalists are starting to
take their feet off the accelerator as they wind down for the weekend. Unless
something really bad/mad/hilarious/outrageous happens, Thursdays are a total
ball ache.
So I got
to thinking - how else can I show my contempt for the mainstream media? Then it
dawned on me: What if I reported the to-ing and fro-ings of ordinary people the
way the news reports on celebrities! That’d be funny, right?! So I hit the
street for the first The news in brief regular joe special:
Shock:
man plays with child in park
Man
drinks coffee IN THE STREET
Blogger
intrudes on family day out
The
news in brief doesn't much care for
woman's clothes, but instead of living and letting live, we report it like it's
news
Woman
wears dress
New mum
looks tired
Pregnant
women tries to hide her baby bump with loose fitting top
Couple
engage in public display of affection
Woman
does job
Man who
probably shouldn't be snacking caught snacking
Confident
woman dresses comfortably but we're not going to say anything nice because she
doesn't conform to media's narrow definition of beauty
Cleavage!
Outrage:
people eat lunch TOGETHER
Nudes in
brief: everyone seems to have their clothes on
Woman
caught smoking
Woman
wears clothes appropriate for the gym - to the gym!
The 3599
Other UK Citizens Killed in Road Traffic Accidents In 1997 Watch 2014: still
dead
Pointing
out how stupid the news can be so you don’t have to…
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