The news in brief:
Study states the obvious: intimacy is good for your marriage
Microwaves will kill us all
Richie apparently a hard name to spell
News outlet indulges in a bit of cyberbullying
Man who should know better convicted of Very Bad Things
Operation Yewtree turns its attention on Great Uncle Bulgaria,
Bungle, Mr Benn and Paddington Bear
Study suggests we eat too fucking much (or suggested serving
sizes are too fucking small)
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Doctors debate removing your free-will altogether
Giant jellyfish!!!
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Man says very sorry
Bunch of absolute tosspot wankers forget how to person
Breadfruit will save us all
Crazy whack-job gets some public money
Pot calls kettle black
Fizzy drinks will kill us all
Most of the world still pretty hairy
Deadly terrorists portrayed as 80s cartoon supervillains
Terrible person gets what she wants after all
Festival goers are filthy bastards
Local council criminalises childhood
Diana Watch 2014: still ‘dead’
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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