The news in brief
celebrity special:
Internet outraged because pop star used naughty word 3 years
ago
Internet doesn’t care that naughty word dropped ten
thousands times by rap stars since
Men go shirtless at the beach
Shock: straight males interested in women sexually
Being gay isn’t news
Recently married couple not smiling for the paparazzi
Photographers intrude on couple’s date
Comedian is neither footballer nor master of disguise
Family goes outside together
Woman wears bikini
Homeowner takes bins out
Woman conforms to media’s narrow definition of beauty
Scandal: woman has breasts
Woman wears dress
Newspaper doesn’t like woman’s clothes
Cleavage is not news
Consenting adults allegedly perform legal act
Newspaper expresses concern that celebrity couple are still
together
Woman wears dress
Relatives share a slightly-greater-than-passing resemblance
Woman wears hat
Actress eats pastry
Woman has an oochie
Diana Watch 2014: couldn’t be fucked to check the Express.
Assume dead.
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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