The news in brief:
More human beings murdered in the name of invisible sky wizard
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Concepts understood by 8 year-olds apparently hard to grasp by gun-toting adults
Breaking news: media still has nothing to report
Newsflash: life in rogue-state's prison camp 'proper shit'
Study states the obvious: ancient men beat seven tonnes of shit out of each other
It's not really 'competition' if one side has to jump through half a billion extra hoops first
Health and fucking safety
BBC manages to report on nothing for an hour and a half
Wild speculation continues
Turns out guns really do kill people
Actor heckles audience
Economy a bit less shit
Mad suggestion that postmen should deliver things
Homeless charity suggests people should climb down from their ivory towers and think before screaming and shouting on the Internet
Human being dangerously stupid
Group of homophobic thundercunts need to be found and imprisoned for a very long time
Actor to star in film
Man's inhumanity to man continues apace
Elevator ride FROM HELL!
Arsehole teacher forgets how to person
Nudes in brief: Ferne McCann
Outrageous revelation: padlocks have mass
Diana Watch 2014: 'still dead'
Reading the news so you don’t have to...
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