The news in brief:
Statins will kill us all
Is one person who left it really late and one person *nearly* inconvenienced really a crisis?!
Bottled water will kill us all
Passport office does look pretty backlogged (unless those are boxes of cupcakes, or staplers or bric-a-brac for the local jumble sale)
Coffee now good for your teeth
Lovelocks set to destroy bridges the world over
#BritishValues: chip butties
Good news for people too lazy to type properly
Bacon will kill us all
Man's inhumanity to man continues apace
Jobs market a bit less shit
Summer 'likely to be hot'
Family ruins perfectly nice house (but is it really a top story?)
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Nudes in brief: Zoe Hardman
Woman doesn’t agree with your life choices
Ministry of Magic wades in on Scottish independence debate
Diana Watch 2014: in all likelihood, still dead
Reading the news so you don’t have to...
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