The news in brief
celebrity special:
Pianist says what we’re all thinking
Footballer has tasty shoulder
Dinobots smash cinema good
Man passes gas
Very pregnant woman plans maternity leave
Man goes to popular festival
Woman gets tattoo
Paparazzi catches couple kissing IN PUBLIC!
Man has lunch
Woman dresses appropriately for the weather
Photographers catch actress eating
Performer performs performance
Woman conforms to media’s narrow definition of beauty
Woman wears dress
Shocker: couple celebrates birthday – together!
Child of celebrity ages at astonishing rate of one second
per second
Idle speculation about actor’s personal life
Outrage: festival attendee has the audacity to not
straighten her hair
Reality TV star acts like a cunt, surprising no-one
Nudes in brief: Orlando
Bloom
Newspaper approves of woman’s outfit
Newspaper disapproves of woman’s outfit
Skanky unmade bed for sale
Diana Watch 2014: she pays correct amount of taxes on her
assets. Still dead.
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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