The news in brief 7th March 2014

The news in brief:

River catches fire

William Shatner is awesome

Woman makes reckless irresponsible life choice (and now wants the government to curb our freedoms)

Drinking acid ‘generally not a good idea’

Paper must read The news in brief because photos of Fracking protesters make a welcome return

A Fucking RIVER catches fire!

MPs agree people shouldn't be expected to read signs

13 year old boy makes working fusion reactor

A fucking RIVER catches fucking FIRE!

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Russia situation still 'pretty hairy'

Internet mocks Prime Minister

Terms and conditions 'a bit heavy handed'

South Park game surprises no-one

No shit: man takes weapon with him whilst investigating an intruder

Russia makes mad suggestion that people should determine who they are ruled by...

Prepare for an Internet meltdown: Facebook to change its interface.

Outrage as school makes logical provisions for most challenging cases

So, yeah, the Winter Paralympics are still on…

Shark goes nowhere near Cornwall

Newspaper not so hot with averages

Woman suggests that freedom is everyone’s right

Diana Watch 2014: her personal chef looks to make a quick buck. She’s still dead.

Reading the news so you don’t have to…