The news in brief 28th March 2014

The news in brief celebrity special:

Pregnant woman’s body mass increases during pregnancy

Fashion magazine judges woman’s appearance (allegedly)

Man updates social media

Frivolous law suit

Horror: co-workers go shopping together

Professional weirdo wears kooky clothes

Woman enjoys boyfriend’s penis (no shit)

Woman drops her keys (paparazzi photograph arse)

Actress is human being

Woman eats food

Paparazzi catch two adults spending time together OUTSIDE!

Woman caught wearing sweat pants

Woman updates social media

Living celebrity bears passing resemblance to dead celebrity

Woman conforms to media’s narrow definition of beauty

Apparently boobs are news now?!

Expensive house is expensive

Woman wears dress

Man conforms to media’s narrow definition of beauty

Actress has the same shit in her handbag as every fucker else

Singer’s tickets sell like the hottest hot cakes ever caked

Two women wear sort-of similar outfits

Diana Watch 2014: ‘still’ dead

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

Last news in brief for a while, everybody; I’m having a holiday and we’ll be back with another celebrity special on Sunday the 6^th of April and then back to regular posts on Monday the 7^th.