The news in brief 5th February 2014

The news in brief:

German sense of humour a bit hit-and-miss

Doctor states the obvious

London Taxi drivers score for overtime

Woman’s skirt length is news now?

Probiotic yogurts probably not all that good for you

Babies are weird

Weather still a bit shit

Bird flu’s back

Mask wearers still unaware of irony

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Bristol crocodile still hasn’t integrated or learned English

Olympic hotels ‘a bit shit’

Breast cancer victims belittled

Remember kids: healthy snacks are more important than education

Actress fails to smile 24/7

Man tells it like it is on Facebook

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Headline implies console had something to do with it

Evil plan backfires

Pop star is a total and utter prick (allegedly)

Science is awesome!

Study states the obvious: snacking is bad for you

Diana Watch 2014: ‘still dead’

Reading the news so you don’t have to…