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Monday 11 August 2014

The news in brief 11th August 2014



The news in brief:

Attack of the two-headed dolphin!

GP surgery not so keen on free speech

Popcorn will kill us all!

Tinned tomatoes will kill us all!

Artificial sweetner will kill us all!

White chocolate will kill us all!

Pea shoots will kill us all!

Bread will kill us all!

Swordfish will kill us all!

Sweetcorn will kill us all!

Food colouring will kill us all!

Basically don’t eat anything

Science is fucking awesome

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Trains are fucking dangerous and family is very, very lucky

Study states the obvious: tickets bought at different times and from different websites may not cost the same…

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Mad suggestion that a woman’s body is her own doesn’t go down so well

Pro-tip: parcels don’t go on the roof

Christmas presents from people who don’t really know you set to get worse

‘Free health care’ not really that hard a concept

Stop the press: relationships work better when you like each other

Doctors are not psychic

An ebola vaccine would be pretty sweet about now

Nudes in brief: Dita Von Teese

And finally… now you can buy your cat a Kim Jong Un scratching post

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

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