The news in brief:
America decides to play nice.
World's economy climbs down from the ceiling
Diana Watch, day 38: still 'dead'
Feminist group argues for woman to be treated differently
Men are evil and are the source of all crime
More people have jobs - UK still not happy
Brits are cheeky buggers
Woman wears boots
Standing up is good for you
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
You-know-who still missing
Woman had a shit job once
Crime Lords promise to be dicks
Family has more kids than they can afford
Great British public really hate pretty baker
Man cuts off own nose to spite face
Determined not to give companies money - by leeching off other people
Paparazzi intrude on family moment
Celeb wears slutty dress
Model whips her top off again
Reading the news so you don't have to...
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