The news in brief:
Boy does wrong thing for right reasons
Breaking news: authorities behave entirely appropriately
Kid lucky to not be American
Man drives like an entitled bellend
KKKostume must have seemed like a good idea at the time
Man's inhumanity to man continues apace
Allegedly remains the hardest word to say
Thieving cunts take advantage of the elderly
Looks like we're going to have some weather
Teachers confuse school for detention centre
Housing market officially mental
Scaremongering horseshit
Ill woman trolled for being too thin
Healthy woman trolled for being too fat
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Newspapers focus on a skewed sample
General public oddly content with snooper’s charter (or do the papers just pick the letters they want us to read?)
Pro tip: man on the moon probably not Hitler
Product placement still isn't news
Sideboob in brief: Jennifer Lawrence
And finally: joyless cretins want to ruin everything
Reading the news so you don't have to...
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