Today’s news in brief:
Turkey is trending. Sadly algorithm makes no distinction between nation and poultry.
Nation celebrates day that Americans helped out some hungry immigrants (just sayin’)
World War III seems unlikely. Newspaper's disappointment almost palpable
Man's inhumanity to man continues apace
Amusing diversion probably not helping
Economy slightly less shit (but still pretty shit)
Remember kids - if a politician sticks to their guns they're inflexible. If they change their mind they're flip-flopping
Pro tip: London not actually a sovereign state
People stopped wanking to play new video game
Study states the obvious: threat of grizzly death makes tourists destinations less popular
Proposal misses the bloody point
Mad suggestion that public services actually cost money
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Glitterbeards probably a bit too much
Product placement still isn't news
Early reports suggest spider not being charged with domestic abuse
Turkey (poultry) pardoned by world leader
Turkey (nation) not pardoned by world leader
Stars in their bras: Coco Austin
And finally: tech company plans to raise the dead...
Reading the news so you don’t have to…
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