The news in brief 6th September 2015

The news in brief celebrity special:

With all the human suffering going on in the world, it’s good to know that the news is keeping us up-to-date with all the things that really matter: like who’s fucking who and who’s outfits are a little bit similar

Paparazzi intrudes on family day out

Woman caught wearing comfortable clothes

Breaking news: woman posed nude quite some time ago

Woman goes outside

Singer not so good at geography

Stop the press: man does not wear shirt 100% of the time

Man spends time with family

Man updates social media

Pro tip: it’s only a public display of affection because you’re taking a fucking picture

Segue mishap

Wardrobe malfunction

The news in brief doesn’t give a shit about Strictly Come Dancing

Woman conforms to media’s narrow definition of beauty

Woman wears bikini

Couple goes for a walk

Woman wears dress

Woman updates social media

Woman has the audacity to pop to the shops in jeans and a tee-shirt

Pregnant woman looks a bit pregnant

It’s still fucking weird to put photos of other people’s kids on the Internet

Nudes in brief: Nicole Scherzinger

And finally: Man wears suit to formal occasion

Reading the news so you don’t have to…