As retired policemen the world over eye their mantelpieces with
suspicion, it’s time for:
The news in brief:
Natural disasters are not funny
In all fairness, it was a briefcase full of wires
Dude scores a free trip to the Whitehouse
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Skynet has a fucking foul mouth
It official: world getting more terror-y
BBC might be a little bit prejudice
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Politician a bit of a sexist prick
People upset at politician NOT being a hypocrite?!
Foxes will kill us all!
An iPhone and a wank?! Sold!
Controversial cartoon surprises no-one
Study states the obvious: girls can do science
Pro tip: positive discrimination is still discrimination
Internet isn’t have any of your bullshit
Sorry – winter isn’t coming after all.
Housing crisis hits new low: 2-man tent in a livingroom for
£500 a month…
Who on earth thought that a ‘liquid nitrogen cocktail’ was a
good idea?!
Do any kids actually think they’ll sprout wings, wheels,
half-shells or karate-chop-action one day?
Surfing seal is cooler than you
Stars in their bras: Ellie Goulding
And finally: grieving mother gorilla got us all right in the
feels
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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