The news in brief:
Fourteen years later and the conspiracy theorists are still
talking shit
Skynet takes up painting
Suspicious amount of alien/AI stories at the minute… what’s
going on?!
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Oi, humans, leave those elephants alone
Super-rich assume rules don’t apply to them
Politician doesn’t let the facts spoil a good story
The US
grows its own attention-seeking hyper-bitch
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Assholes rejoice at public servant being assaulted.
Turns out Putin didn’t really call Elton. Who knew?!
Study states the obvious: fantasy characters aren’t 100%
realistic
The end probably isn’t nigh
Metro hates crabs
What kind of asshole uses emoji on their CV?
Newspaper’s love-affair with discount supermarket continues
Super-gonorrhoea will kill us all
Pro tip: snapping turtles snap
Newspaper wheels out tired old Youtube video from, like,
2002
Medieval justice system treats women like shit
Literally everything will give you cancer…
Stars in their bras: Pixie Lott
And finally: website allows you to update Facebook FROM
BEYOND THE GRAVE!
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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