The news in brief celebrity
special:
Consultant treats woman like shit
Breaking news: man smokes cigarette
Stately home is fucking expensive
If you need a telephoto lens to see it, it’s not a ‘public’
display of affection
Pro tip: Maggie Smith isn’t actually the Dowager Countess…
Wardrobe malfunction
Couple’s love-life subjected to wild speculation
Product placement is NOT news
Woman wears jumper
“Showing off her svelte frame” or just “stepped outside and
got photographed by some asshole with a camera?”
Family pops to the shops
Stop the press: woman has legs
Paparazzi intrudes on family day out
Woman wears dress
Cleavage!
Woman’s mental health is NOT entertainment
Man caught not wearing jewellery
Woman conforms to media’s narrow definition of beauty
Stop the fucking press: woman NOT wearing a bra
Man wears t-shirt!
Man dressed appropriately for the weather
Woman wears bikini
Woman updates social media
Nudes in brief: Cindy Crawford
And finally: something
about the Kardashians. We stopped caring.
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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