The news in brief:
Newspapers full of hypocritical bullshit
Slacktivists come out in force
Country continues to treat human beings like shit
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Internet full of judgemental cunts
Scaremongering horseshit
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Completely mental solution actually a little brilliant
Thank shitting Christ for some decent people…
Remember kids: crime doesn’t pay
Queen understandably likes a bit of Downton Abby
Great news: sex is good for your health
Shop thinks it’s still 1954
Economy is bad for your health
Facebook is bad for your marriage (apparently)
“School approved socks” can fuck right off
So, man-fucking-a-fish fetish is apparently a thing
Political correctness gone mad
Pro tip: if you’re going to taunt the person you’re burgling,
make sure you’re good at running
Newspaper doesn’t bother to wait for both sides of the story
Study states the obvious: fast food is bad for you
Indistinct smear probably not a ghost
Nudes in brief: Miley Cyrus (again)
And finally: that sheep isn’t so fluffy any more
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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