The news in brief:
Partial eclipse of the heart
Anticlimax of the decade 
Brits are outrageously inventive/retarded 
Awesome photo totally faked 
Awesome photo totally not faked 
Study states the obvious: brits deal with disappointment by
making tea  
City fails to conform to Google’s narrow definition of
beauty 
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount 
Middle East situation still
‘pretty hairy’ 
Man plans to buy house to live in 
Apparently men suck and Dr Pepper is great for you 
Mums are fucking awesome 
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace 
Google will save us all! 
Bras will kill us all! 
The United States
is totally cheating on Britain
with the French
Small black dots probably not aliens 
Jobsworths a bit vague when pushed for details
Minor customer service failure reported as news 
Gallery tries the old switcheroo 
Turns out being a terrorist can be pretty fucking boring… 
Nudes in brief: Rita Ora (nearly)
And finally: we like big butts and we cannot lie   
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…   
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