The news in brief:
We’re reading between the lines a little bit here, but it
seems IKEA is happy for you to play hide-and-seek in their stores, just so long
as tens of thousands of you don’t do it at once… 
Attention-seeking hyper-bitch has to dip her oar in 
Medieval justice system’s death toll through the roof 
You-know-who’s in trouble again 
Fictional cyborg apparently has opinions 
Study states the obvious: looking directly at the sun is bad
for your eyes 
Google will save us all! 
Optical illusions are not news 
David Cameron to take part in a seven-way… wait! what?!  We may have to go read that one again
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount 
The Empire Strikes Banks 
Detractors dredge up a historical mistake 
Person’s private life is somehow our business 
Sounds like bullshit to us: indistinct black shape probably
not Nessie
New law misses the point entirely 
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace 
New NASA theory seems legit 
First world problems 
Remote-controlled cyborg insects will kill us all 
At what point does crowd funding just become begging?
There’s some funky-assed shit in the water supply  
Nudes in brief: Jaime King 
And finally: woman makes miracle recovery 
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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