The news in brief:
Freedom of Speech is soooo last century
Newsflash: celebrity daughter gets ordinary job
Minor customer service failure treated as news
Contents of sarcophagus not that surprising
Research suggests you’re a failure
Media tells you what to aspire you
Hilarious greetings card a tiny bit offensive
Study states the obvious: living costs and wages should probably
rise together
Politician lambasted for telling the truth
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Breaking news: not all humans are pricks
Judges rule in favour of common sense
Self-aggrandising cunt strikes again
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Royal not actually the chick from Frozen…
MP suggests common sense should maybe be a thing
Pills fix everything
December-y weather forecast for December
Boo-fucking-hoo, judges have to make their own lunch (like
everybody else)
Study shows menthol may lead to harder substances, such as eucalyptus
(or maybe even tea-tree oil!)
Nudes in brief: Kendall Jenner
And finally: Looks
like we’re gonna need a replacement bus replacement bus
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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