The news in brief:
CIA investigation surprises no-one
Apparently not complying with a police officer is a capital
offence now…
Random pattern looks a tiny bit like a swastika
Minor customer service failure is somehow news
Man gets a promotion
Olympic committee thinks equal rights are pretty fucking
cool too
Weather bomb!
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Planet irreparably damaged by environmental group
Monster walks away on a technicality
Great news for misogynistic assholes everywhere
Newspaper outright condones torture
Big bang may have made backwards anti-universe where
everyone is evil and has goatee beards… (Okay, we added that last bit)
Girlfriend’s prank is a pain in the arse
Story states the obvious: first class has better seats
Science is fucking awesome
Pro tip: mistletoe drones are NOT a good idea
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Driver has a lucky escape
Pareidolia is not news
Nudes in brief: Casey Batchelor
And finally: religious group offended by imaginary wizard
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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