The news in brief:
Man eaten by man eating snake
Man lives to tell the tale – snake unavailable for comment
Attention-seeking hyper-bitch continues her crusade to
offend everyone
Politician is an insensitive twat
Cyclist learns the hard way not to be a dick
Study states the obvious: people will complain about
anything
People lose their shit over man’s jumper
Emissary of invisible sky-wizard tells children that jolly
Christmas wizard doesn’t exist
Little girl is really fucking lucky
Pro tip: be fucking careful around goddamned trains!
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
MacGyver apparently working for IS now
Shark pups have a lucky escape
Must we keep doing this? Product placement is NOT news
Turns out breast milk sells really well…
Ebola!
Wintery weather forecast for December
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Man gives amazing pep talk
Teenage defendants don’t speak good
Nudes in brief: Cheryl Burke
And finally: town plagued my mysterious disappearing ducks
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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