The news in brief:
Tragedy in the air
Newspapers exaggerate Ebola threat
Toy does look a lot like a giant cock
US President doesn't actually plan his own holidays
Attention-seeking hyper-bitch at it again
Internet loses its shit over movie prop
Big businesses don't like competition
Medieval morality plans to disfigure a human being - for 'justice'
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Chief Executive tells the media exactly where they can stick it
Turns out James Bond doesn't actually exist (we checked)
Remember: guns don't kill people...
Study states the obvious: childcare is fucking expensive
Economy a bit shit
Man's inhumanity to man continues apace
Economy makes retailer skimp on the sandwiches
Toilet is pretty fucking nice
Councils spend money patronising tenants
New eco-products are shit
Seriously, you bigoted fucks, breastfeeding isn't evil
That had better be some seriously epic wrapping paper
Apparently aliens have been popping round for years
Drug lords have some pretty nice shit
Nudes in brief: Cheyenne Tozzi
And finally: Come to think of it £5.94 is still pretty fucking pricey for some wrapping paper - what were you wrapping? a house?!
Reading the news so you don't have to....
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