The news in brief:
Stop the press: parents follow through with threat to cancel
Christmas (but there will still be decorations, presents and Christmas food…)
Politician attended the attention-seeking hyper-bitch school
of public speaking
Shocker: married couple still love each other
Study states the obvious: junk food is bad for you
Chairman is totally not sorry
Mad dictatorship has skewed priorities
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Restaurant don’t want no ugly chicks
Genuine supervillain holding up little shops in London
Thought of squeezing out a 14-pound baby makes women
everywhere clench
Actor continues his mission to star in every franchise
Bureaucracy: 1, Human kindness: 0
Historical screen caps of popular websites… must be a slow
news day
Some people will complain about anything… Wait? I’m pretty
sure Buzzfeed covered this yesterday.
Mad suggestion that sick people should be treated and not
punished
Pro tip: when faking an accident, be sure to check for
cameras
Aliens may be robots
Snow forecast for winter
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Nudes in brief: Whitney
Port
And finally: Man doesn’t understand how iTunes works…
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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