The news in brief:
Hero girl mourned by nation
Coldest day of December so far 
Man to give evidence – from beyond the grave
Old holiday snaps apparently worth money
Christmas card is fucking shite 
Surprise shark 
Some wankers on the Internet have no respect at all 
Picking on teenage girls is never cool 
Pro tip: people don’t always appreciate spoilers 
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Compensation culture strikes again 
NASA confirms earth is NOT going to be plunged into
perpetual darkness 
Greedy bastards get what they deserve 
Study states the obvious: exercise is important 
Super secret spy plane responsible for mystery noises 
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Political party continues its mission to offend everyone
Amazon’s droid army is ready to… well, carry boxes, actually
Terrible Christmas tree is a bit of an eyesore
Is ebola hiding in your sperm?!
Nudes in brief: Hertfordshire 
And finally: 120 million crabs take a little walk on the
beach…  
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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