The news in brief:
First flurry of snowfall sees United Kingdom grind to a stop
Weatherbomb blasts the North West
December’s weather normal for time of year
US
navy unveils its mother-fucking death ray
Knee-jerk commentators don’t really understand economics
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
‘Orange Wednesdays’ are now just ‘Wednesdays’
Royal does quite get how humans work
Study states the obvious: during economic downturn things
became more expensive
Pro tip: stop fucking about on railway lines
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
BBC to build Cumberbatch a Cumberpatch
Apparently it’s time to make some babies
Man’s inhumanity to horse continues apace
Just so you know, stringing lots of clever-sounding words
together does make them a sentence
So, beard baubles are a thing now
Rumours about crazy dictatorship surprise no-one
Advert suggests Christmas is about some dude called Jesus?!
Hamper is pretty fucking expensive
Random knot-hole maybe looks a tiny bit like the Virgin Mary
Nudes in brief: Ellie Goulding
And finally: crows invade town
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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