The news in brief:
Sad tragedy in Glasgow
Religion's bodycount continues to mount...
... and mount...
... and mount
Product placement masquerading as news
Argentine town thinks maybe we should give respecting women a try...
Seal was really fucking going for it
North East loses its shit over a football match
Film causes a bit of a stir
Crazy dictatorship threatens to blow up the world
Australia shows us how to not be cunts
Man's inhumanity to man continues apace
Supermarket's bookkeeping under scrutiny again
Exclusive: museum thinks childcare is for the womenfolk
Band not keen on changing the lyrics to their song
Medieval morality switches to medieval justice
Pope suggests the church should maybe join the 21st Century
Study states the obvious: exercise is good for you
Supermarkets piss off Internet shoppers
'Freedom is the right of all Orangutans' says Argentina
Orangutan unavailable for comment
So 'manspreading' is a thing now...
Pro tip: if you're a prison guard - don't try to seduce the prisoners
Nudes in brief: Imogen Thomas
And finally: Santa hates terrorists!
Reading the news so you don't have to...
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