The news in brief:
Politicians promise not to lie (if you vote them in)
Lowlands near rivers 'more prone to flooding'
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Dolphins are totally stoners, man
Rural areas are a bit harder to get to
Perfectly good graph ignored in favour of reactionary outrage
Celebrity sick of people bleating about their first world problems
Newspaper squeezes every stereotype going into one headline
Who 'ya gonna call?
Diana Watch: still dead
Traumatic footage used in music video
Campaign for common sense misunderstood
Carbohydrates are EVIL!
Halloumi cheese doesn't even taste like chicken
£25 fine becomes £300 if you act like a wanker in court
Duct tape fixes everything
Nudes in brief: Amy Childs
Woman has huge arse
Reading the news so you don't have to...
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