The news in brief:
 
 Ministers want NHS to play God 
 
 Mother admits to being selfish bitch LIVE ON AIR 
 
 Charity in bed with tobacco, alcohol and weapons companies 
 
 MP suggests business should pay its staff
 
 Selfie offends the world 
 
 PM likes celebrity cook 
 
 Man jailed for boob fraud 
 
 Woman with disposable income spends money 
 
 Religion's bodycount continues to mount 
 
 Woman eats lunch 
 
 Diana Watch: 'still dead' 
 
 Teenager's jolly jape offends prudes 
 
 Nerds make not unreasonable demand 
 
 Thrill-seekers make stupid decisions
 
 Outrage as rules applied equally 
 
 Darwin awards recognise new winner   
 
 Nudes in brief: Courtney Stodden (again?!) 
 
 More wintery weather due this winter   
 
 Gays can always be wrong too (at long last)
 
  Disney makes cartoons
 
 Reading the news so you don't have to...
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