The news in brief 19th December 2013

The news in brief 19th December 2013:

EU shoots giant camera into space

Religion's bodycount continues to mount

Convicted murderer still pleading 'not guilty'

London is apparently the only city in the United Kingdom

Sick fucks buy t-shirts

Gatwick and Heathrow are the only airports in Great Britain

Baby-faced pop weasel retires from the music biz

Two older black guys look nothing like each other

Council offends 17,000 families

MP buries head in the sand

Politician says Mean Things on the Internet

Charity founder calls for return of dark age morality

Club card gets it a bit wrong

Passive smoking DOESN'T give you cancer now

Diana Watch: still dead

Seaweed is good for you

Church executes Christmas elf

Terrible calendar is terrible

Nudes in brief: Sheridan Smith

Baby-faced pop weasel was only joking

Former pop star with similar name is NOT a paedophile

Jennifer Lawrence discusses butt plugs

Dirty fuckers spoil nice park

Reading the news so you don't have to...