The news in brief 26th March 2014

The news in brief:

Article suggests meat comes from animals

Exposé suggests people like sex

Celebrities sure do get married a lot

Diana has to share the dead celebrity spotlight

Whatever happened to public service announcements?

Diametrically opposed politicians disagree

Hero saved lives by shortening war – WITH MATHS!

Freedom of speech means tolerating viewpoints you might disagree with

Best. Wedding cake. Ever.

Man is a bit of a legend. Can the Internet do a whip round, please?

Giant rat: inferior. Giant rat trap: superior

Doctors haven’t heard of these pesky ‘human rights’ things  

Cookies are a sometimes food

Public figure apparently isn’t allowed a day off

Text messages are deadly killers

Look, if it’s in the Oort Cloud, it’s not going to be earth-like, okay?!

Spring weather a bit wintery and a bit summery (no shit)

58 year-old didn’t have ID

Dictator probably barmy

Red top tabloid not so hot with the fact-checking

Nudes in brief: Jodie Marsh

Really big ship!

Foxes: 1, human: 0

Dolphin situation remains ‘pretty hairy’

Elvis watch 2014: ‘still dead’

Reading the news so you don’t have to….

The news in brief 21st March 2014

The news in brief:

Shock: Man on IV for three months loses weight

Media disseminates intimate details of critically ill man

Precious life emerges from family tragedy

Russia situation probably not going to destroy the world (phew)

Public has warped expectations of aeroplanes

Wild speculation

Couple’s baby plans are none of our business

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

It turns out the tidal wave of Romanians and Bulgarians (remember that?!) didn’t happen

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Hate mongers turn out to be hypocrites (who knew?!)

Criminal Wombles on the loose

Man has pretty boring hobby

Study states the obvious: sitting on your fat arse is bad for you

New app negates last lingering vestiges of human interaction

Finding a small object in the ocean might take a while

No shit: overstressing children may cause children stress

Religion’s brainwashing of young minds continues apace

Parenting apparently too much like hard work

(Wo)man’s inhumanity to animals continues apace

Woman in her fifties looks like a woman in her fifties

Mammal has body hair

Nudes in brief: Jasmin Walia (who ever that is)

Diana Watch 2014: still pretty dead

Update: news in brief writer still under the weather, but feeling very much better. The editor feels like shit. Luckily the editor doesn’t have to do that much work…

  

Reading the news so you don’t have to…