Today's news in brief:
Internet still obsessed with new mobile app
Human stupidity not actually Nintendo’s fault
Man probably just enjoys humming
Woman gets new job
People really care about cat
Economy set to get even shitter
Take-away owner clearly harder than you
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Eagle doesn't give two shits
Pilot totally fucking great at flying
Soldier ready to take on ISIS (and Team Rocket)
Man's inhumanity to man continues apace
Humans treat polar bear like shit
Cloud totally looks like a dick
Mediaeval mindset treats women like shit
Asshole mother forgets how to person
Judgement cunts determined to ruin everything
Study states the obvious: cigarettes are bad for you
Stars in their bras: Dakota Johnson
20 dead in a head-on train collision. No and finally today, just our thoughts for those affected.
Reading the news so you don't have to...
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