Today's news in brief:
Internet obsessed with new mobile app
Dead body doesn't feature in original pokédex
Actor wants to have cake and eat it
Even the lamest mule can't lose a one-horse race
Man's inhumanity to man continues apace
Portugal better at football than expected
Jam, Jerusalem and Organised Crime
Economy still pretty shit
Breaking news: 1986 was thirty years ago
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Man needs new job
Idiots spoil it for everyone else
Product placement is not news
Scaremongering bullshit
Indistinct blur probably not a ghost
Face-swaps are NOT news
Study states the obvious: it's shit living near a main road
Stars in their bras: Jessica Simpson
And finally: man A-Teams the world into a slightly better place
Reading the news so you don't have to...
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