The news in brief:
Roombas have started the robot uprising – Skynet unavailable for comment
Crazy world leader not so hot on history
Economy prepares to batter the human race all over again
Public transport a bit shit
Medieval mindset struggles with the whole 'gays are people' thing
Judge thinks he's above the law
Coincidently, we found an old copy of the Magna Carta if you need a few pointers...
Adverts are not news
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Women suggest that they may in fact own their own bodies…
Slow news day? Don’t worry – just wheel out a story from last year
Pot calls kettle black
Study states the obvious: people find attractiveness attractive
Don’t be a prink on the Internet
Frankenonion makes life marginally better
Pro tip: lions are fucking dangerous
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Stop the press: man and woman carry their own fucking bags
It turns out old people can be cunts too
Is your TV trying to steal your bank details? – Skynet unavailable for comment
“The charge of witchcraft was read out by a cleric…” atheists everywhere dumbfounded
Nudes in brief: Bleona Qereti
And finally: miracle mum gives birth to twins
Reading the news so you don’t have to…
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